I’m amazed that I’m back in the army - for both wrong and right reasons. It’s a time of flux, of change and of that slow, languorous thrum of an engine pulling me into a shimmering, unattainable, distant sunset, and there are anecdotes and lives to revel in, in camp, away from everything else that presses in. It has given me a voice, reason to speak, pause to consolidate, even if there is a price to pay.
R has been startling, wonderful, lovely. I have learnt more, been through so much more, here with her, than I have ever experienced anywhere else; in a year, I have had my life turned inside out, with all the right questions, all the things I should have done, and a reason and impetus to straighten myself out. How could I ask for more?
Today, then, the stillness of a morning spent at home, for once, as I wait for the bustle to begin, again, somewhere out there, where men come and go. This is joy; a knowledge of being on the right path, going somewhere, and loving, and full of hope and faith, even if I can hear too many echoes, of, of shades, shadows, fallible man. Psychedelic, iridescent, coruscant, evanescent sunset, I come.